What We're Given

Hudson is sick today.  I don't fret about sickness too much.  I know it won't last long, and he will be on the mend in no time.  I do my best not to complain, because I know that in general, I have three healthy kids.  I should not be allowed to complain, because I know there are many parents out there that struggle every single day with issues that I can't even begin to imagine when it comes to their babies' health.

I have put a few things up on facebook about a family friend whose ten year old son has lived with a condition called EB.  If you don't know anything about it, please look it up.  I can't even imagine what this child and family have had to endure, but he is tough, and so is his family.  They are currently undergoing an experimental procedure to help him, and while I'm not usually a "praying" person, I think of him every day and night and continue to hope for great and amazing things for him.

But here's what I believe.  My friends who have children, those with EB, blind, autistic or paralyzed, have been chosen specifically to raise these babies.  No one else could do a better job.  No one else is strong enough.  No one else is committed enough.  These families are amazing to me.  I am awed by them every single day.  Kevin and I aren't that strong, nowhere near that tough. 

So, while I have been blessed to be given healthy children, the children who do struggle have been blessed to be given the family that will see their miracles through.  Whatever they may be. 

Preston

I don't talk about Preston much.  I know this.  To be fair, there is not much to say.  Not in a bad way, it's just he's a really good kid.  Yes, the kind of child every mother dreams of.  No brag, just fact.  Yet, this brings on a whole new set of worries, because, really, isn't this every mother's job.  To worry?

Preston is the middle child.  Kevin and I were both middle children.  He's the one that gets ignored most of the time, gets lost in the shuffle, and generally has to fend for himself.  Kevin and I did it as kids, and we honestly try to make a more concerted effort to avoid doing this to poor Preston, but it's inevitable I think.  I never really worried about him though.  He doesn't complain, he plays by himself, does what he's told, and never causes a fuss.  But after yesterday, lucky me, I now have found reasons to worry.

I went to parent/teacher conferences yesterday, and the teacher gave a glowing report about how well he is doing with math and reading, and never causes any trouble in her classroom.  Which, for her, causes a little concern.  What?  What do you mean?  Isn't that ideal?  Yeah, I know.  I was floored too.

She told me that sometimes Preston is too kind.  Huh?  How is that possible?  Example:  Apparently when Preston is in line, some of the kids will push in ahead of him.  Typical behavior.  His response, I guess, is not.  She said he just steps back and lets them get in front of him, without saying a word.  She's worried he's going to get pushed around a lot as he gets older, without defending himself.  Oh boy.

Then she tells me that she noticed he's constantly giving things away.  Or wanting to buy her and other people things.  He REALLY wants to buy her a ring or a necklace.  lol  And he wants to give all his supplies to other kids that don't have something, but then ends up not having enough supplies for himself.  Great.  

And lastly, she tells me that he is REALLY sensitive to other people's emotions.  She says that if the kids are being naughty in the class or she seems stressed, he keeps trying to make it better.  He asks if he can give her a backrub (can we say "overly affectionate") or if he can help somehow.  And she says this is a constant thing for him.  Ugh.
 
So she wants me to make sure he doesn't seem to be overburdened.  Someday he will have a major catastrophe come his way, there's no getting around it, and she worries he won't be able to handle it.  "A lot for a little guy to carry around."  So, yeah, now I worry about that too. 
 
We, as parents, work really hard at making sure our children are good, kind, sensitive, loving, blah, blah, blah.  Apparently, Preston has taken that to the 10th degree.  So, even when you seem to have the "perfect" child, you still have to worry.  So let's just be grateful we are given lots of different kind of children, so we have a job to do.  Worry.

Realistic Mom

I picked Mason up from school yesterday, and he had a t-shirt in his hand.  I asked, "What's that?"  He says, "It's a DARE t-shirt they gave us.  We're supposed to wear it every Thursday."  I said, "Oh really?  Hmmm.  So do they teach you realistic ways to stay away from drugs and alcohol?"  He says, "Yeah, like saying 'No' and walking away."

Okay, really?  That's realistic?  I mean, come on.  We've all been there.  It's not that easy.  As we all know.  Mason tells me that he made a pact with a friend of his that they would never do drugs, because his friend has had issues with his dad doing them.  Yikes.  Scary.  But real life. 

So I decided to put my own spin on ACTUAL situations he'll be put in, and give him REAL responses he can use.  Like when a friend is drinking and offers him a drink, I told him to just tell his friend, "No thanks.  I'll just drive your drunk butts around."  I told him that at least that way you don't make the friend feel uncomfortable, and you can still avoid drinking, and you'll keep all of your friends safe.  Also, how about when he's in football, and he's sore from practice, and a friend offers him a prescription pain killer?  He had no response.  I told him, "Just tell the guy, 'No thanks, I've got something at home I can take'."  And then to make sure to come home and let me know what is going on in his life.  No matter what.

I also told him that no matter what, he can tell us if he has made a mistake.  Because mistakes are how you learn.  And that as long as he is honest with us, he is safe with us.  Except for drunk driving.  And we've had LOTS of conversations about that.  We tell them all the time that no matter what the situation, if they have been drinking, call us and we'll come get them.  They won't get in trouble unless they get behind the wheel.  If we have to drive five hours to get them, we will.  Mason even said yesterday, "Okay.  So what if I'm driving my drunk friends around and they cover my eyes or grab the wheel and I get in an accident, I won't get in trouble?"  I said, "Nope, as long as you are sober."  Then he asks, "What's 'sober' mean?"  Oh, I have a long way to go.  lol

I hold no delusions that my guy won't EVER try something or dabble in things that could put him in danger.  And this conversation lasted over 20 minutes in the car, giving him situations and possible ways to keep himself safe throughout the drive.  Preston was also in the back seat, listening, and providing some input.  I hope that they listen, and can come up with their own solutions.  Realistic ones.

Side Effects

Most of the time, I am sooo grateful I have boys.  But there are times when I'm not sure I have enough knowledge to really see them through everything they will deal with.

Mason asked me the other day what the "side effects" of puberty are.  Side effects?  What side effects?  I drew a blank.  So I start going into the whole "your penis gets bigger, you get hair, your testicles get bigger" conversation.  He looks at me like I've gone insane.  "Not that!  Ewwww.  I mean side effects."  Okay, I'm at a loss.  Do I really know the answer to this one? 

Then he says, "Well, a friend told me that one side effect is that you get nose bleeds." Hahahahah.  Oh, okay.  I get it.  His poor friend must have gotten a nose bleed, was horribly embarrassed and decided to tell his friends that he's going through puberty, and that's one of the side effects.  Oh my.  Poor kid.

But I realized that this could be a defining moment.  Where your child comes to you for information, instead of his friends, and he is actually needing an answer.  Yikes.  I proceeded to tell him that I was very glad he came to me instead of just believing whatever his friends tell him, and that if I didn't have the answer, I would be honest and say, "I don't know.  But I will find the answer for you."  Because, most of the time, I don't know.  I have no idea. 

And I told him, "I don't know.  But I don't believe there are any side effects.  But if I find out differently, I will let you know."  I told Kevin about this whole conversation.  His answer?  "Side effect?  How about having raging hormones?"  Yeah.  If our poor child is anything like his parents, that will be a definite side effect.  But that's a completely different conversation.  lol

Oh my

Conversation with Hudson today.  "Mom, my poop is green."  "Really?  Well, maybe it's all those fruit gushers you ate."  "MOM!!!  I didn't put fruit gushers up my butt!"  And people wonder why I turn to facebook for adult conversation.