Hudson and I had a "moment" this weekend that I wanted to share. It was one of those moments that I really had to question myself as to what is "right" and what would be the "wrong" response, and to be honest, I'm still not sure if I did the right thing. Hopefully it's the right thing for us.
This weekend was a busy one for us, as the last weekend of summer usually is for us. We have to get ready for winter (unfortunately....still waiting to move somewhere where winter doesn't exist). This means getting the garage, camper, boat and other summer stuff winterized and put away. This also means we spend the whole weekend in the garage. The boys usually help, but I gave the two older ones a "pass" to spend some time with a friend who I felt could use some company, so it was just me, Kev, and Hudson. We were going in and out of the house and Kevin had to run and grab a tool at his Dad's. I stayed in the garage, and Hudson was in the house. At some point, Hudson forgot I was in the garage. Apparently he then began to run around the house, screaming (I mean screaming. I'm sure he had a banshee beat.) Loud enough I could hear him in the garage.
I, of course, thought he had harmed himself, so I went running into the house to figure out what in the world had happened. I found him standing in the kitchen, sobbing, and looking completely distraught. He just kept saying, "I couldn't find you." After reassuring him that I was just in the garage, where he'd left me, and that I would never, ever leave him, he started to calm down. I asked him, "Are you okay?" Where he responded,
"Yeah, but don't tell Dad I got scared, okay?"
Oh man. What do I do with this? This is the moment where I have to decide if I am the mom that can be trusted. If I can be the one that you can tell anything to and know that it's in pure confidence.
I decided.....I'm not that mom. I decided that it was more important for him to trust that Daddy and I are a united front, that we as a unit will always be there for him, no matter what the circumstance. And that we love him equally......differently.....but equally. This could be the kind of moment that could make or break us.
When Kevin got home a few minutes later, Hudson was still recuperating. I asked him if he would like to tell Daddy something. Kevin looks at him and says, "What's wrong, bud?" He says, "Nothing." So I betrayed him. I told Kevin what had happened. Of course, Kevin picks him up and gives him a huge hug and tells him that he never has to worry. We will never leave him, and that it's okay to be scared sometimes.
So they wrapped their arms around each other and held each other. I hope Hudson remembers that moment.
