Let me just start this blog by saying that we all have opinions, varied and passionate, but let's be clear. The nature of the word "opinion" makes it imperative to realize that these are not facts people. NOT facts. And because we live in the great country of America, we all have the right to express our opinions. Let me also be clear that I have absolutely no desire to change your opinion. What you believe makes you inherently you. It is what makes you unique, and I don't want to change that about anybody, even if our beliefs are drastically different. Lord knows I live with and love a man dearly who doesn't agree with most of my beliefs. But both of us have no problem with saying, "Let's agree to disagree." My 13 year old understands this concept. Why some full grown adults can't figure it out baffles me. So please, feel free to use your right to express your opinion, as will I.
However, let me also be clear that you do not have the right to express your opinion in a hurtful or hateful manner. No one has been given that right, unless I missed something somewhere.
Let me give you a list of just a few of my loved ones: those who are gay, those who may be but are too young to comprehend this yet, those who can't walk, those who can't see, those who can't talk, those who can't read, those who are in wheelchairs as we speak, and those who will be. Every single one of these people are not the "social norm". Every single one will be the recipient of disgust, disdain and degradation. They will be bullied, they will be laughed at, and they will be treated as "less than". And if you are one of those people who are openly hurtful or hateful to any of the ones I hold dear to my heart, I will call you on it, I will fight you on it, and I will win.
I am a huge believer in karma. (If you are not, see first paragraph). I believe every single person needs to remember to treat others as they want themselves or their loved ones to be treated. And if you are a person who chooses to be hurtful and hateful, God forbid anyone you know or love doesn't fit into what is society's idea of "normal". Because karma can be a bitch.....(insert title of blog here).
Wednesday, August 1, 2012
Sunday, April 22, 2012
Tiger Mom
A while back, I had a few friends tell me that I was a "tiger mom". At that time, I had no idea what they meant. I assumed it was somewhere along the lines of being a "cougar". Apparently not. :)
So....a tiger mom. I have to wonder if this is a good or bad thing. I have lots of opinions on what kind of mother I want to be. Lots. Yes, you can feel sorry for my kids now. I will reinforce the opinion, however, that this is the kind of mother I want to be. NOT, I repeat, NOT what I think everyone else should be. They're your kids. Do what you want with them. Just remember, I'm going to do what I want with mine.
This has become very clear to me as my kids get older that as far as moms go, I'm not nice. I would say that my style of parenting is more "I'm going to make sure you are prepared for life outside my home" versus the "I really wish you would never grow up." We enjoy our sons, but we have a job to do. And trust me, it IS a job. One that I take a lot of pride in. But my title is "Mom", not "Friend".
For instance, an allowance? My sons have all brought this up. Once. I looked at them, and said, "Uh, no." That was the end of the discussion. lol. But we have talked about things in relation to this over and over again. Our children do lots of things around the house, because they live here. I don't get paid to do the dishes, Kevin doesn't get paid to mow. They won't either. It's called being a part of this family. Secondly, having money, in my opinion, is not a right. It's earned. At a job. I refuse to let my sons believe they should get money just because they live and breathe. Not happening. See, feel sorry for them yet?
Also, my children are required to get straight A's. They are extremely intelligent, and fully capable. If they are struggling in a class, they have to inform us immediately, and they have to work especially hard to bring it up to snuff, or electronic devices are banned until said grade is an A. They know the expectation, and they rise up to meet it. And, no, they don't get money for their grades. They get a special date, of their choosing, with us. And hugs. Lots of hugs.
Thirdly, our sons don't have cell phones. And they won't until they get jobs and pay for them themselves. It's a great way to teach responsibility and develop a credit rating. I know. I get the response of, "I like to know where my kids are at." Newsflash, I haven't lost one yet.
So, a tiger mom I may be. But I plan on having kids fully prepared for the outside world, and at this rate, they are probably going to be running and screaming from our home to greet it with open arms. :)
So....a tiger mom. I have to wonder if this is a good or bad thing. I have lots of opinions on what kind of mother I want to be. Lots. Yes, you can feel sorry for my kids now. I will reinforce the opinion, however, that this is the kind of mother I want to be. NOT, I repeat, NOT what I think everyone else should be. They're your kids. Do what you want with them. Just remember, I'm going to do what I want with mine.
This has become very clear to me as my kids get older that as far as moms go, I'm not nice. I would say that my style of parenting is more "I'm going to make sure you are prepared for life outside my home" versus the "I really wish you would never grow up." We enjoy our sons, but we have a job to do. And trust me, it IS a job. One that I take a lot of pride in. But my title is "Mom", not "Friend".
For instance, an allowance? My sons have all brought this up. Once. I looked at them, and said, "Uh, no." That was the end of the discussion. lol. But we have talked about things in relation to this over and over again. Our children do lots of things around the house, because they live here. I don't get paid to do the dishes, Kevin doesn't get paid to mow. They won't either. It's called being a part of this family. Secondly, having money, in my opinion, is not a right. It's earned. At a job. I refuse to let my sons believe they should get money just because they live and breathe. Not happening. See, feel sorry for them yet?
Also, my children are required to get straight A's. They are extremely intelligent, and fully capable. If they are struggling in a class, they have to inform us immediately, and they have to work especially hard to bring it up to snuff, or electronic devices are banned until said grade is an A. They know the expectation, and they rise up to meet it. And, no, they don't get money for their grades. They get a special date, of their choosing, with us. And hugs. Lots of hugs.
Thirdly, our sons don't have cell phones. And they won't until they get jobs and pay for them themselves. It's a great way to teach responsibility and develop a credit rating. I know. I get the response of, "I like to know where my kids are at." Newsflash, I haven't lost one yet.
So, a tiger mom I may be. But I plan on having kids fully prepared for the outside world, and at this rate, they are probably going to be running and screaming from our home to greet it with open arms. :)
Thursday, January 12, 2012
Beautiful Girl
January 10th is a hard day for us. More specifically, hard for Mason and I. In 2008, a beautiful, kind amazing nine year old girl was taken from us in a tragic car accident that left us shaken. Every year in the past, Mason has struggled. Sadly, every year I have struggled to help.
I went to college with the intention of helping those in need. I took every psych course, every child development course, and every "self help" course I could find to make sure I could do this effectively. Yet, every year, January rolls around and I feel completely unprepared to deal with Mason's sadness. Every time he tears up, I'm worthless. His grief seems to bring me to my knees. I can't seem to find the right words of consolation, because my tears choke every word.
This year has been a little better. Maybe it's because the snowy roads haven't been around to put a little edge of fear in our hearts. Maybe it's because Mason has grown older and better equipped to deal with loss. Hopefully it's not because he has given up on talking to his mom about this stuff because she's not equipped to deal with his loss.
However, when I am able to choke out the words, I tell Mason how glad I am that he has such wonderful memories of Morgan. That I'm glad he had such an amazing person in his life, even for a short time. And I am glad that he was able to know someone that incorporated everything about these two words....Beautiful Girl.
I went to college with the intention of helping those in need. I took every psych course, every child development course, and every "self help" course I could find to make sure I could do this effectively. Yet, every year, January rolls around and I feel completely unprepared to deal with Mason's sadness. Every time he tears up, I'm worthless. His grief seems to bring me to my knees. I can't seem to find the right words of consolation, because my tears choke every word.
This year has been a little better. Maybe it's because the snowy roads haven't been around to put a little edge of fear in our hearts. Maybe it's because Mason has grown older and better equipped to deal with loss. Hopefully it's not because he has given up on talking to his mom about this stuff because she's not equipped to deal with his loss.
However, when I am able to choke out the words, I tell Mason how glad I am that he has such wonderful memories of Morgan. That I'm glad he had such an amazing person in his life, even for a short time. And I am glad that he was able to know someone that incorporated everything about these two words....Beautiful Girl.
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