I just recently read a post from a friend regarding cell phone contracts between a parent and their child that I struggled with. Now, if you know me, you know that if you do things differently than me, more power to ya. But if you are looking for some guidance, or wonder, "What do other people do in this situation?", maybe I can provide a fresh perspective. Here's my contract that I've had with my teenage son for the last two years regarding his cell phone.
1. I trust you to be smart. I know that you keep your phone on silent at all times, home or school. I know that it stays in your back pack during class in case there are "friends" who want to take it, play with it, throw it around etc. I know that you have never gone over on your data plan. I know that you have two intricate lock pattern screens in order to get into your phone. Is it to keep me out? Maybe. But when you told me it was so kids at school couldn't and wouldn't want to take it, I trust you.
2. I trust your decision making skills. You have always responded in a timely manner when I have texted or called. You have never broken, lost, or gotten your phone taken from a teacher. I know that your phone stays in your vehicle while at work. I know that when I say there are no phones at the dinner table, you shut if off and don't complain. It's just how it is.
3. I trust you to be kind. We've tried to raise you right, but I don't know if you're bullying someone online. But when the mother of the new kid in band comes up to me and tells me how much her son enjoys being around you and how great he thinks you are, then I think we're doing okay.
4. I trust you to be open and honest with me when you need to be. When you have come to me with questions regarding things online or with stuff other's have posted, I know that I can trust you to look for honest answers from me.
5. I trust you to be accountable. Are you up all hours of the night on your phone? I don't know. I do know that you get up at 5:00 in the morning every other day to be at work on time, without fail, and that you get up at 6:00 in the morning on the opposing days for jazz band, so I don't care to be totally honest.
6. I trust you to be respectful. We talked about sending penis pics. Nobody wants to see that. It's gross. Remember the Brett Favre debacle? Just ew. Don't do it. Just don't. And don't be a douche and ask girls for boobie pics. It makes you look bad, and seriously, a girl who responds to you with a picture is not the kind of wife or mother for your children you want long term. We both know it would be a waste of your time and effort.
7. I trust you to be responsible. You bought your phone, and you have to pay for your own contract. It's all on you. If it gets taken, lost or broken, it's your problem to deal with. Not mine. I won't save you, and you don't expect me to. I remember when the lady at the cell phone store told me it would be cheaper to just put your phone on my plan. "Not cheaper for me!" I laughed. You're in charge, completely, of what happens to your phone. And I trust that you take that responsibility seriously.
In short, I trust you. I trust that you have been and continue to be a pretty amazing person.Could that change? I'm sure. But I will trust you until that time comes. I remember you coming to me one day and said, "Mom? Have I ever thanked you for not going through my phone or making me give it to you to look through? I know some kids who have to hand it over every night. That would suck." My response?
"Thank you for not making me feel like I need to."
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